


my name is hatred and the reasons we both know

by andrea_deer



Category: Black Sails
Genre: Crushing Mark, Jack being oblivious to how fast he's falling, M/M, No Beta, Post Series, Pre-Slash, Prompt Reply, Rape Mentions, Rape Threats, Trans!Guy Mark Read, Transphobia, confused Anne, kinkmeme fill, lots of swearing, naval knowledge ignored for drama, no actual rape happens in the story though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 18:51:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11237091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andrea_deer/pseuds/andrea_deer
Summary: "You want to fuck her," she said and now it wasn't even a question, but Jack was still a few minutes behind the conversation."Who?" he finally asked, because the night was too short for games and Anne hated them anyway."Mary."Jack frowned harder. That was not the answer he expected, also..."Who the fuck is Mary?"





	my name is hatred and the reasons we both know

**Author's Note:**

> Reply to [THIS PROMPT](https://blacksails-kink.dreamwidth.org/2931.html?thread=43123#cmt43123) from Black Sails Kinkmeme: _Mark is a trans guy and he gets it on with Jack instead of Anne._

"You know it's a fucking girl, right?" Anne finally asked few weeks after Mark joined their crew. Exactly four days into the second time they've sailed together.

Jack made a bet with himself how long she was going to last and lost it when the whole first trip went without a comment. It was a short one, certainly, but he thought it was long enough for Anne to lose the tiny amount of patience she had. He knew her dislike to speak up about, well, quite frankly anything, clearly was battling with her doubt in Jack's observational skills. He probably should take it as a compliment that she lasted that long.

"Despite what your charming wife might often suggest, I actually am not completely brainless nor blind, yes."

"Don't call her that."

"You protested the term 'husband'," Jack pointed out and Anne scoffed at him unamused before stalking away and almost colliding with Mark on her way, seemingly on accident pushing against his shorter frame.

Mark looked at Jack in confusion. He was trying very hard to make Anne not hate him, so Jack smiled back reassuringly, letting him know it was not his fault. 

"Women, huh?" he called in such a typical male bonding ritual it felt even faker than it was.

But Mark just smiled brightly and nodded, so Jack figured it was okay.

-x-

Mark smiled a lot at Jack which was a nice change of pace. Jack's humor and his general way of being usually generated responses more along the lines of smirks or eye-rolls, an odd chuckle here or there, though usually from someone humoring him. And perhaps Mark was humoring him as well, trying to secure position in the crew by gaining captain's friendship, but if becoming a captain didn't come with the perk of being able to talk at length to people who were obliged to listen to him then well, that seriously limited the perks Jack was expecting of this position.

Once he started talking about Charles and though he was not sure how it even started, he was well aware he should keep it short and sweet, because it was hard to show Charles as a good friend in the stories that ran for too long... But there was just something about Mark that made Jack want to keep on talking more so than ever. Use the opportunity of being listened to its full potential.

"You knew him for long then?" Mark asked, his head leaning against the wall of the mass haul, the hat tilting slightly, short tousled hair sticking from underneath it. 

He held his cup of rum he's been nursing for the past few hours loosely in his hands, but his eyes were wide awake and curious, though his expression much softer than when he was among other men.

"Yes," Jack chuckled at the memory. "Almost a decade. When his, uh, dispute with Teach over Nassau became more violent and decisive I saw it as an opportunity to join the ranks of his newly forming crew. I provided some, shall I say, tactical support to the dispute and landed myself in his favors enough to take me in."

"Why didn't you try joining Teach's though?"

"Who says I didn't?" he smirked and Marks frowned, thinking quickly, unwilling to believe the setup.

"It wouldn't work if you'd try one and then the other. Also, you sailed with Teach, why wouldn't he take you in then?"

Jack smiled at the simplified view of someone who saw those relations and actions as points relatively close in a timeline, something already given, knowing its ending. Jack Rackham was a captain, the only remaining captain in Nassau. He sailed with Teach and outsmarted Flint, of course he was a great addition to the crew.

"Teach always valued physical strength first, then the brains, which put me at disadvantage. Then I was not yet very well known for my wit either. On top of that," he sighed, "Teach, and I suppose up to some point his crewmates, were highly superstitious. I did not know the details, but I supposed asking them to take a man smaller in posture and also accompanied by a young, redheaded woman was a bit of a stretch. And as you said, if I asked Teach and got turned away with mocking and laughter following... Well, I would hardly be someone Charles would welcome with open arms, certainly not at that time."

Mark watched him closely.

"And the two of you always come together."

"Then even more so than now, if you'd believe it."

Mark nodded quietly.

"Charles was far more open to this, even though the first time he realized how close we were was not the best or most dignifying one. Still, he claimed if at least one of us could fight properly... In the end, he taught Anne to fight even better, actually. When she first threatened another crew member who made some very unsubtle and ungentlemanly advances towards her. Charles laughed at his complaints and then said she better be able to follow through with those threats... People remember him as some sort of a monster and well, he certainly could be. Most pirates could. Weirdly enough the longer he's gone the more terrifying stories I hear about the things he supposedly did, but it seems I have a better memory for the few good things he managed to do along the way."

"People usually do about their friends," Mark allowed and Jack chuckled softly.

They sat in silence for a long moment, interrupted only by the rhythmic sounds of the sea and the ship around them. Few people moving around the deck above them until finally one set of quiet steps came closer.

"The fuck you're doing here?" Anne asked frankly, her voice still rough with sleep, her hair loose and one of Jack's coats wrapped tightly around her against the cold breeze. 

For a moment Jack was honestly surprised to see her, but now that she got his attention he noticed the sounds of people walking around them grew louder and apparently they've been talking all night. 

Mark jumped up suddenly, straightening his hat.

"Sorry, Captain. I've got a shift. Ma'am," he nodded at Anne, always making sure to address her, though obviously still unsure how since no one else really bothered to.

"It seems I lost track of time, my dear," Jack admitted as Anne fell into the seat Mark just vacated in a hurry.

"Jesus fuck, Jack. You can't keep a rigger up all night drinking and tellin' stories."

"I hardly forced the conversation-"

"You're the captain," Anne interrupted him, leaning in to make sure he's paying attention. "She can't just tell you to fuck off."

He nodded and swallowed the rest of his drink. Anne was right of course. The job of a rigger was tricky enough on a full night sleep, one wrong step and falling down from the higher lines pretty much guaranteed a certain death. He wanted to call Read back, change shifts. He was the captain, he could do that, but he also knew how it would look to the crew. After being squirreled away for the night with the captain the last thing Mark needed was to get special treatment.

"Just talk to somebody else for fuck's sake."

Jack nodded quickly though his thoughts were rather more focused on making sure his conversations with Mark would not intrude on their duties than quitting them altogether. 

-x-

"You wanna fuck her?" Anne asked randomly one evening after staring at Jack for a long while.

Jack frowned in confusion, lifting his head up from the maps he's been studying. They were not straying too far from Nassau, but he needed to make sure they were crossing the paths with just the right merchant ships or their partnership with the Guthries would quickly dissolve. He enjoyed working with Max, she was brilliant, there was no way to hide it, certainly, but he couldn't quite shake this vision of them getting caught and Max standing there beside Mrs. Guthrie and both of them saying with innocent, huge eyes that they've had nothing to do with it, they've never seen this man called Jack before.

Anne would probably be somehow smuggled away which certainly is a relief, but he would still hang merrily on. Somehow both exactly like Charles and nothing like Charles at all.

"Jack!" Anne kicked his chair, getting his tired attention on her again.

"Yes, dear?" he said, only slightly mocking.

"You want to fuck her," she said and now it wasn't even a question, but Jack was still a few minutes behind the conversation. 

He suspected he might have drunk a bit too much rum after supper, talking with Mark about his father's old business of all things. It didn't seem too much when he was dealing with charts, but it seemed a bit too much to deal with Anne.

"Who?" he finally asked, because the night was too short for games and Anne hated them anyway.

"Mary."

Jack frowned harder. That was not the answer he expected, also...

"Who the fuck is Mary?"

Anne rolled her eyes at him.

"Mark."

"Oh!" Jack finally caught on, before frowning again. "Why Mary?"

"I don't know, maybe you fucking hope she'll call you captain in bed."

"No, I meant the name. Mary? Where the hell you came up with it?"

Anne rolled her eyes again, clearly angry. "You're a fucking idiot, Jack."

She left the room angrily, almost slamming the door. Jack simply stared at the walls of their cabin for a long moment, collecting his thoughts.

"Very well then."

He bent over the charts again.

-x-

"They're actually going to attack... That's... unexpected."

"Are you fuckin' smilin'?"

Jack grinned even wider.

"It's a small merchant ship that can't run because of how deep in the water it falls with whatever is on board. If their pride demands of them to fight, well, I hardly see this as a threat terrifying enough to be scared, my dear."

"You ain't scared, alright. You're fucking excited."

"Well," Jack admitted and Anne rolled her eyes at him.

He had a feeling she was doing more and more of that since she got together with Max. Sometimes they did that in tandem and that was really quite off-putting.

He'd be more upset about this if she wasn't smirking slightly while shaking her head. Neither one of them wanted the chaos, the war, the constant battles and pains they learned to hate so deeply, but it was not the same as a bit of a chase. A prize that didn't give up right away. That was just a bit of a challenge. That was what they were good at, that was what they liked. And Anne might tell Max she only sailed to watch over Jack and make sure he didn't do anything stupid, but neither Jack nor Max were fooled. Anne loved this too.

Jack watched her with a soft smile as the prize got closer.

"Well?" she finally broke the silence, asking first. "Go on."

He grinned before turning to their crew.

"Gun crews at the ready, prepare for the attack, get Read and Finnell down from the sails," Jack instructed and his quartermaster, Tumelo walked away shouting the orders.

The man's voice was a booming presence easily cutting through the noise of the sea as he walked through the deck, people parting for him to pass. 

Jack liked to think he was above being intimidated by Tumelo simply because he had a posture greater than even that of Teach and his dark brown arms burst from his cut off sleeves with muscles possibly bigger than Jack's head. It hardly mattered. Jack served with actual Teach who was impressive in form and the mind, he sailed with Charles Vane and even suffered Flint and his ridiculously tall boatswain. Tumelo would have to try far harder to intimidate Jack.

"Gun crews at the ready! Prepare for the attack! Finnell, Mary, get down here!"

Still, Jack just didn't like him.

-x-

The merchant ship was not much of a match for them and its crew knew it. It was clear however that the captain had some sort of a problem with giving up. Perhaps it hurt his honor too much and he was either feared or respected enough by his crew that they followed him into the battle. 

It was not that much of a challenge. Jack's crew had more men and far more experience with far more bloodthirsty enemies. Even though a crew defending their honor in the final battle could often be unpredictable and cause quite a lot of damage, this time it was quite clear the fight was mainly for the spirit of the captain and few most loyal ones, the others were simply following orders.

Jack cut two of them easily, one seriously, the other raged back for an attack but Anne finished him off before Jack managed to turn. He took on the boatswain instead. The man was clearly one of the few loyally following their captain, he fought with force and abandon that reeked of desperation. 

He slammed his cutlass against Jack's, the impact shaking Jack's arm to the core. It was not an attack of a man who planned to win the battle, it was an attack of an angry, cornered animal. All fury and force, no plan, no tactic. Exactly the kind of fight that was the worst enemy of a captain who was more witty than brawny, but Jack tried to hold his own. His arm ached just from countering the attacks of the boatswain. The man was only slightly taller than Jack but much wider and thicker in posture. The strength coiled in his muscles was more of a match for Tumelo than Jack. 

Anne's been flanking Jack's right side, but she's been sidestepped, fighting her own battles and Jack couldn't afford to look to her now. He knew there was no way she could come to his aide right now. 

He danced around the boatswain, countering his attacks, trying to ease the force off them. He tried to finally attack as well but the boatswain just stepped back easily until he met the blade on his other side. 

The quick swift cut to his right and Jack noticed Mark attacking the boatswain from the other side. He nodded at Mark with a smile, now this was another fight altogether. They exchanged attacks easily, falling into the rhythm that would cause problems to a far more experienced fighter than the man they cornered. The Boatswain flung hard against Mark, Mark's cutlass fell away as he stumbled, but Jack was ready. Before the boatswain managed to cut through Mark, Jack slid the blade deeply into the man's belly and ripped the blade out to cut across his throat as well.

The blood splashed on Jack's face as his opponent fell back on the deck. 

Mark dived for his cutlass as Jack shot another man trying to attack them. They smiled at each other - Mark's cheeks red, eyes shining, Jack's grin bright beneath the spilled blood - and they turn their backs to each other, so they could stay covered as they continued the fight.

It didn't last long, just as Jack said it wouldn't. The attacked crew didn't fully agree with the captain that dying for their haul was worth it, even if it would give their families better payment. Jack's crew was far too eager for some action, they cut through their enemies with ease.

As the fight settled Jack looked around to make sure Anne remained victorious. She stood just a few feet away, right under the quarterdeck, next to few bodies of some stubborn crewmembers and she nodded at him in an answer. He just nodded back to let her know the blood wasn't his. They were fine. He smiled with a delighted rush, Mark's warm presence still at his back. 

It was a good fight.

None of their own died, only a few were severely wounded. Callahan seemed to have gotten the worst of it, judging by the amount of blood covering his left side, but Tumelo was already walking him back towards their ship.

"Mary, be a darling and support that idiot back to the ship," he said as he stopped by them, easily transferring the arm wrapped around him to Read and sending them both on their way.

Jack thought of contradicting the order, sending Read with the other men to the haul perhaps, but by the time the specific request came to him, Read and Callahan were half way across the deck and Tumelo was talking to the captured crew. Jack let it go and followed his crew into the haul.

-x-

"The fuck is she wearin'?" Anne asked suddenly and Jack looked away from the horizon to look at Read walking on the deck below them.

Anne was hardly the one to make comments about anyone's clothing so that alone was a good enough reason to pay attention. And, well, perhaps Read indeed deserved the notice. 

Few pirates whistled as Read made the way to the mast. And then started climbing it. 

In a dress.

Jack doubted anyone besides Read was currently following their duties. Most of the men pretended to still be doing something, but some didn't even bother with that much of a cover. They moved to stand right under Read and looked up, tantalized by the billowing skirt and the way it was both hiding and showing everything.

Read paid them no mind.

"Come on, Mary!" someone shouted.

"If you makin' a show, make it a good one!"

They roared with laughter and Anne looked at them disgusted.

"Aren't you the one usually reminding our crew that such behavior might be severely punished with a blade?" Jack asked somewhat warily.

Anne shot him a glare.

"She's climbin' fuckin' ropes in a dress!"

"So it's fine as long as someone is in a dress?" Jack asked with fake confusion almost trying to provoke Anne, because he really didn't want to yell at his men.

They were doing what every other crew would be doing in their place. If anything he should appreciate their restraint, after all, they were just staring and shouting. No one touched Read, no one was even trying to. But they still made Jack angry and he was quite annoyed he was the only one reacting this way. Like if no one else saw the problem with this. 

He looked at Anne's confused, angry face and he thought, she should get it. She got it when it was Max being harassed and tortured, but then again he realized maybe he felt like she did back then. When even he was questioning her attachment to the whore on the beach.

The comparison between Read and Max was an unpleasant one. Jack had enough problems with his partner having one lover, there was no need to tempt fate.

Anne never replied to his query, but her look really said it all. They were on a pirate ship. If someone was a pirate and was in a dress, it was funny at best. Asking for trouble at worst.

Their crew was no longer what pirates crews used to be before the treaties were signed and Nassau became a civilized port. On one hand, of course, this was the last pirate crew around, but it's also one that works with the civilized government, works well under the command. They could not afford to have bloodthirsty beasts among their men like it was common back in the day. They all knew they're not as free as they used to be and they knew there were lines they shouldn't cross. 

If Read pulled off that stunt on any other ship Jack ever served on, he doubted there would be much to put together after the crew was done. 

Now, on his own ship, under his rule and bound by the articles that were very carefully crafted, Read reached the mast post safely and spent the shift there accompanied by calls and whistles, but no actual advances. No actual aggression. 

Still, Jack knew these people were still pirates. Civilized as they could be, they were still resisting civilization enough not to crumble fully underneath its demands. Resistant to the idea of the higher power and fundamental laws like wild creatures that could be put in chains, but not petted and showed off in the parlors by the lady of the house.

As the day grew darker and Read's shift was slowly ending, more men started circling near the post. Like vultures waiting for the victim. If one of them turned to be something more aggressive than a vulture and actually attacked, the rest would happily feast on the remains. And that would end in a bloodshed.

Not only because Read was going to suffer and try to protect themselves, but also because Anne was already steadily waiting on the higher deck. Her face stony and her hands close to the blades. Jack doubted she changed her mind about Read's stunt and he doubted she would try to protect Read from all the evil, but she was ready to pounce and end it as a lesson and not a blood bath. Jack was sure of it, which is why he should have let her handle it. 

Anne sort of made the rules for herself a long time ago and Read was a bit like Anne... Was enough like Anne for the crew to understand they needed to back off if Anne made it clear they would have to deal with her as well. The most tactically wise move would be to carefully remove himself from the whole situation, use any of the captain's duties as an excuse to lock himself in the cabin and let Anne handle it, let Tumelo back her up, let Read learn the damn lesson... And come out only when it all blew over and he was no longer forced to pick sides or appear more protective of Anne or Read that he should be.

He knows Anne understood it, it all seemed to go as she envisioned it when he left to go to his cabin.

She looked much more surprised, when he appeared on the deck again, a small bunch of clothes bundled under his arm. He ignored her look very carefully and sent the most obvious vultures to attend to some duties as far away as possible. 

Tumelo seemed to notice what he was doing, even if a quick glance at Anne confirmed he was not exactly sure why he was doing it. Clearly, Anne's confused, angry shrug didn't bring much of an explanation, but Tumelo, thank God, was not one to philosophy and question what was happening. It was at the same time his best and worst quality, but at this moment Jack was very glad for it. He made his way to the mast slowly, as the people gathered around were smoothly removed with a few well-placed orders from him or Tumelo.

Jack looked up the ropes in disdain, he never liked that part of the pirate's life and he was rather pleased when his wit finally proved important enough not to risk his brain being scattered on the deck when he stepped on the wrong rope. Still, it was not as if he had never done it and calling Read down would certainly be far more noticeable. Especially if he actually wanted to have a word away from the prying eyes and Anne's angry frowning.

He climbed up with less of an ease than he remembered, but without any danger either. His clambering into the nest could've certainly been smoother and he appreciated Read for not laughing, though perhaps, judging by the facial expression, confusion simply won with the amusement.

"Well, now I certainly am glad I sent those gawkers away," he admitted.

Read just looked at him, obviously uncertain how to reply.

"Captain?"

The voice was somehow different too.

The dress obviously was. The hair uncovered from the ever-present hat and the dress... It was thin and white and suddenly Read not only had the legs that the crew admired earlier, but also breasts. There was no corset, so at least they were not popping out like those of some whores in Nassau, but the dress was laced and suddenly what was so easy to hide when Read wore man's clothing, was now on full display. 

Between that and the dress and the hair, Read looked like an entirely different person.

The boots! Jack focused on the boots. They at least were the same, so clearly, not everything was lost. He watched them as he started speaking. The crowded space between them barely letting him see Read's feet, but it was enough. He wasn't entirely sure what he wanted to say, well, not exactly, but somehow it came as easily as always when he talked to Read.

"You're new to Nassau, aren't you Read?" he asked looking up from the shoes and nodding back when Read nodded in agreement.

"I've been there for scare few days, when I talked to you in the tavern, sir."

"Yes, I thought so. It shows, Read, clearly you don't understand the place well enough."

Read looked away and Jack followed the gaze to the sea. He had a point to make, but he also liked to talk and he honestly didn't think this was the time when the blunt approach would get the job done. And Read let him ramble since they've met, it was one of the reasons why they've made it back together to the ship. For a man like Jack, a willing ear was worth more than gold sometimes.

"You see Nassau is a very special place. It became more obvious recently when it went through all the changes in a very dramatic way, but in the heart of it, it still has the same amazing spirit. You see, it allows everyone a chance to become someone. 

You've met Max. Briefly as it was, you're smart, you can guess however vaguely and inaccurately how much power she holds. Less than two years ago she was a whore passed around to pay off the debt to the crew of pirates. Now she practically rules Nassau, Featherstone providing mostly just the name for it. 

I don't think anyone even knows what Max' name is. If she ever had one.

Anne went through two, her parents' and her husband's before she ditched them both to live in Nassau with her own name as her own person.

Obviously, it doesn't work for everybody. Personally, I'm rather attached to my name. I've done some... highly questionable things, both in morale and logic, to keep my actual name, but that's not the point. I wanted to build what I had into something and I did.

Your name in Nassau is something recognizable, it becomes a trading mark, the reputation behind a name, what you built for this name... it's often quite enough to carry you or drown you completely. But the point is, before anything of that happens, you get to pick your name and stick with it."

He looked at Read and their eyes met. For once he knew for sure his rambling around the actual subject was understood.

He gave Read the clothes he brought.

"It's still early enough for you, Read. Just pick one and stick with it if you want to keep it. And, quite frankly, whichever one you pick - don't ditch the pants as long as you're on the watch duty. These men are well behaved for pirates, but they're still men and whatever you're trying to prove here, I doubt it'd be worth the prize they will make you pay."

-

The next day Read was fully dressed in the man clothes just like on the first day. Anne watched that carefully before looking at Jack questioningly as they ate. Jack ignored it with a practiced ease, though he knew there was a small smile hiding in the corner of his mouth and that was usually annoying Anne enough to bother him for proper answers. Still, there was no point in bringing it on sooner, so he focused on his food, ignoring his surroundings easily enough, losing himself in his own thoughts for the moment.

"Captain?" he was suddenly interrupted and as always he got a small thrill of satisfaction at hearing this title.

He raised his eyes at Read with a small smile.

"Yes, Read?"

"Just wanted to tell you I thought about what you said yesterday."

"I'm glad. People rarely do, which is shocking considering I do actually have some insight occasionally and-"

Anne kicked him under the table and he threw her a wounded look. Fair enough, they did have a system for cutting down his rambling in front of people who did not appreciate it, but this time it was highly uncalled for because Read most certainly was not on that list. Judging by Anne's careful following of the conversation it had more to do with Anne's impatience and how much she wants to get to the center of the matter. Sometimes he really regretted their system.

"Excuse my rambling, Read," he said anyway because this was neither the place nor the time to set boundaries in his relationship with Anne. 

"It's no problem, sir," Read replied quickly with a smile and Jack threw Anne just one, very short, victorious look. Anne rolled his eyes at him, utterly unimpressed. "I just wanted to let you know that it's Mark. Mark Read."

Jack smiled and nodded in acceptance and let Read leave before their interaction became even more of a spectacle to the eavesdropping crew.

"What the fuck was that about?"

"Oh, just a conversation we've had yesterday. There were some misconceptions in the way the crew saw him, so I advised him to be clearer about it."

Anne looked at him and he knew what she wanted to say or ask, but he was not going to make it easier on her and harder on Read. That was part of the building up your name he talked to Read about. You pick it and you stick with it. You don't go around explaining and justifying yourself. 

"Huh," Anne finally shrugged and a wave of fondness for her suddenly eloped Jack. 

"It's not going to be a problem, is it?"

Anne shrugged, obviously already dismissing the problem, but he knew she would keep an eye out for Read now that she understood the situation better. It was just the kind of person she was.

"The fuck I care. Saw men calling themselves way more stupid things."

Jack smiled at her fondly. His point precisely.

"You still want to fuck him though."

Wisely Jack refrained from the comment on the matter.

**Author's Note:**

> It took me months. And way too much research into sailing and XVIII century ships. Mostly wasted as I ignored most of it for preferable drama. Please forgive me, I have priorities.
> 
> Also, there might be a half-written porny sequel, but knowing me it will also take months to finish. But I hope Jack will eventually get pegged like I always wanted.
> 
> Find me on tumblr if you want to, I'm @lordnochybaty :)


End file.
